Female self-defense and realistic representations.
Realistic representations ofwomen’s self-defense is a duty of every good security trainer not to instill false beliefs or misconceptions in people without providing the necessary and real tools to survive violent aggression.
The self-defense of women but in general self-defense is not a fascinating topic, it is not so sexy just because there is the female presence and certainly it is not kind, no violent confrontation or in real life it ever is.
So why do you make it so fashionable?
However, if you observe how the martial arts/health and fitness industries present the topic of female self-defense especially in many fitness magazines or via influencers on YouTube, you might be led to think that a small woman who weighs 52kg, dressed sexy and without sweating can learn to throw a punch from knockout against a stereotypical criminal in a 2-hour seminar on Saturday afternoon or with a package of a few lessons.
Stop believing this nonsense and take the subject seriously if you really care about yourself.
Even today you can see on YouTube and in local television channels demonstrations bordering on the absurd with people who laugh and collaborate in showing techniques often made in a coarse way and put in a context that is far from a real aggression, not waterfalls.
Do you want an example of real aggression?
Take a tour on the Instagram Channel.
Presenting and constructing an imaginary aggressor/subject attacked in a playful way is at the same time unrealistic and does a complete disservice to the person who wants to learn as well as being illusory and deceptive towards women.
Honestly you suck me and your luck is that luckily statistically the people you train are unlikely to be attacked!
Be careful, however, because some girls / women who today are more independent and emancipated can participate in the courses precisely because they are afraid of a situation that they are experiencing or have lived and that they will never tell you, at least not immediately and deceive them or giving them false certainties is an incredible damage.
Certainties in self-defense must be real through training, prevention (context analysis, attention, alert levels, etc.), psychological and physical (more related to escape and combat) without forgetting the ability to defend or prevent through the use of tools.
It seems that the self-defense industry’s message to women to entice them to attend classes and seminars is not the program you’ll make to survive an assault, but that you should also look good while you’re doing it as if the message is more focused on saying “if you do self-defense you’re also much more attractive!
Even on the programs there would be a lot to say since the topics related to self-defense are very vast and complex.
Violence is a physical and emotional chaos that must be understood and studied to be managed and basically everyone knows that to do this you need a long-term training with qualified people. It is not possible to manage something complex with some notion and some “cinematic move”.
Presenting women’s self-defense in an unrealistic, oversimplified, sterile, sanitized and fashionable way, is misleading and in my opinion not convincing for all parties involved and that is perhaps why many fail to build decent classes, are not able to offer a real service and often do not maintain the professionalism required with as well as an important teaching deficiency also with attitudes of one who is looking for friends to go out with and have fun.
I say this because there are episodes of news where from female self-defense instructors they have become stalkers.
I believe that this kind of message and stories of friends who have had this experience discourages women and girls from attending classes and programs even if the topic interests them and this regardless of the many false myths and falsehoods regarding violence against women.
In this post I want to tell you about some of the conflicting messages that often seem to be communicated regarding women’s self-defense and some of the areas that many programs overlook.
Women Vs Women
There are some who might try to argue that these types of incidents are both rare and usually irrelevant, however from my experience episodes of violence between women are not so rare and linked to jealousy, discussions in discotheques for the most disparate reasons (altered states due to drug use or drunkenness, jealousy, etc.)
Learning to downgrade a situation involving a jealous girlfriend who has misunderstood your conversation and intentions towards her boyfriend is something that should be taught in the self-defense programs of all women, since such situations can quickly go to degenerate; especially where it is involved alcohol if not even drugs.
Women also attack women but this aspect is rarely if ever discussed.
It’s not just men who attack women, I’ve personally seen several fights that have ended in violent acts between women, for a variety of reasons.
And violence is not to be underestimated, tugging the person by the hair by banging his head against tables or on the ground, bottled on the head from behind, kicking on the ground, etc.
Attention! in many cases the people around instead of intervening and dividing the girls remain to watch because everyone likes to watch a “fight” and if a woman ever quarrels with another woman and there is no security present, do not expect anyone to watch him be in a hurry to stop the brawl and absurdly men like it if two women argue with each other.
Another typical case is the queues of the women’s bathroom in the clubs turn into riots since often the girls go in groups to the bathroom and when someone tries to skip the line, etc. and to this is added alcohol and drugs you can guess that it takes little for a quarrel to be created.
There are many types of contexts in which women’s self-defense has another woman/girl as an aggressor and that is why it is essential to treat the topic in a realistic and complete way and neglecting this type of scenarios is an important lack.
Anticipating and managing intention is the best self-defense
Often the aggressor in the case of violence against women is not a stranger but a person you know, a friend, someone you have recently met, etc.
Learning to recognize someone’s intention through their nonverbal language and manipulation of their words and anticipating intention by safely “exiting” a potentially dangerous conversation without immediately shouting “backing down” and visually/audibly applying a boundary is a key skill that needs to be taught.
Remember that many episodes of violence arise from social situations, such as in the premises, a parking lot, one look too much, in the premises, in line in the post, etc., while much female self-defense is presented as an ambush or blitz-type attacks, where there are no previous phases or phases.
For example an aggressor jumps out of the shadows or rises from behind without any warning, etc., and while these types of assault occur which fortunately are in the minority and should not be presented as if they were the norm.
It is important to go step by step also in order not to create in some people unnecessary fears that then risk going to affect the social quality of people.
Although I am in favor of women’s emancipation and the training of a woman who can resolve violent conflicts but there are times when such actions and behaviors will unnecessarily intensify a situation, and this should be recognized and taught.
Let’s remember then that in any case an aggression even if you have defended yourself can lead to legal implications.
There are many steps before you get to the physical confrontation with a person to establish and enforce boundaries without having to prove to everyone around you with kicks and punches, etc. that this is what you are doing.
Violence is largely social and not immediately violent and it is therefore important to teach people how to understand and manage social conflicts with friends/colleagues/neighbors/strangers on the street and on the premises, etc.
It must be part of women’s self-defense training, rather than simply teaching women what to do when someone grabs them from behind, etc.
Learning to fight is a fundamental part of training but it is also the most complex and time-consuming.
Also remember that when you find yourself fighting it means that you have done wrong everything that is there before that concerns prevention, attention, context analysis, de-escalation, etc. unless you have found a madman who attacks you for no reason but somehow chose you and you did not notice it and there are still rituals of attack.
In the real world unfortunately there are few women who have not had to deal with intrusive men and hateful men up to inappropriate physical contact and for this reason it is important to learn teaching strategies to deal with these situations, rather than focusing only attack techniques to finalize the aggressor and this knowledge should be part of any educational program that concerns self-defense.
Often in most courses the defense scenarios are presented in the final part that is that of the clash, then working in the most extreme part of the conflict, the combat.
Female self-defense is something complex with specificities that must be addressed to allow you to make a path suitable for most women, without facing too extreme situations, which does not mean that they are things that happen to other people, etc. and therefore you must also be prepared to overcome the extreme conflict but for this you need time you can not tell lies and above all there are situations in which it is necessary to have tools to deal with the situation.
Setting realistic expectations about what you can and won’t be able to do and what you will learn is extremely important when teaching a program or class that operates with limited time.
This limited time should not lead you to take a course where the famous “kick in the balls” becomes the universal solution applicable in every situation, especially if these actions are pulled with kicks and knees, etc. because it is not so obvious and it is not that a man who attacks a woman perhaps for advances pushed does not expect this.
For example, attacks from behind, which often involve hair pulling or taking from behind, are extremely difficult to deal with, especially when it comes to a man and a woman with different weights and involving movement.
Choosing how much time to devote to these topics and how to avoid being in certain positions in a short-term course should be taken into account.
For example, if most attacks will happen face-to-face, it’s best to spend time dealing with the types of attacks that can result from these more common situations and that are more likely to be achievable than those in which a person is completely surprised.
But I want to be clear a short-term course gives you an idea of the dynamics but not the ability (except in rare cases of people who have martial experience or established combat sports) to be able to counter aggression.
If you decide to follow only a short course or participate in some lessons, knowing the program of the course is important to understand even if it is a fake course just to take money that is, you can not teach everything in a few hours.
If you really want to learn and really acquire skills you have to follow a serious and long-lasting path!
Self-defense and personal safety in general but specifically of women should be treated not only in a serious and respectful way (since many fake instructors do these courses to look for a friend or girlfriend), but contextualizing the type of training that has specificities that cannot be neglected to make training effective and in helping women to predict, prevent, identify and avoid violence and increase their chances of survival if physically assaulted.
Women’s self-defense is something that deserves to be taken seriously and should not simply be an addendum to an existing martial arts program, e.g. a class or occasional course done on the weekend to deal with the topic, I say this because that is what martial arts schools do offer or use periodically to increase revenue.
Destroy the stereotypes that advertising often incompetent or in bad faith, stereotyped, image, appear beautiful while you are attacked sends a wrong message and does not help indeed could also distance many women to start a complex path but that can give many satisfactions and positive implications in the personal life of many people but it is like everything that is seriously made of a path.
Street Fight Mentality & Fight Sport