Violence against children.
Harassment, sexual assault and abuse of children under the age of 18, a small list of things you parents need to know too.
What I want to talk to you about is a list of incorrect behaviors that is useful for both minors who are experiencing violence but also very important for parents and teachers.
When it comes to children, you must immediately understand that these are sensitive topics that need to be dealt with and explained by a parent and at school clearly and with specific lessons to make it clear that there are misbehaved behaviors that no one has the right to do with these modalities.
News stories often make it clear that one of the serious problems that girls or boys have (there are many cases) who suffer violence is that of not finding support and not knowing how and to whom to turn for help.
Shame, fear, fearof not being believed, etc. often lead to a silence that over time becomes a real cage, a prison that influences other aspects of life sometimes even forever.
Families are full of untold shadows and violence against children
Now what I tell you may seem strange but the family, it is precisely the family is often a place that protects the executioner leaving the victim completely alone.
So remember that friends and relatives of the executioners are not the ideal reference points for those who suffer violence.
People who live in the same environment and are often in contact with the executioner are often driven to blame the victim and defend the executioner, as if it were a misunderstanding.
Now there are a number of tips that you need to know and that you need to spread in schools, among your daughters and sons, your friends, work colleagues, friends, cousins, grandchildren, acquaintances, and those who have more, MASSIVE DIFFUSION!!
People need to know that they are not alone if they happen unpleasant incidents of this kind and they have to acknowledge that it is an abuse and that there is no misunderstanding.
Here is a list of wrong behaviors and violence against minors:
No one has the right to get their hands on it if you don’t want it.
One of the fundamental rights you have is to always be able to choose when, how and with whom to live your sex life.
Sex must be consensual.
If you say NO and the other one keeps harassing you it’s an abuse.
Never be fooled by misunderstandings and misunderstandings behind which harassers and rapists hide to manipulate you and be able to do what they want.
No adult, relative, father, uncle, brother, grandfather, can ask you to “play” with him to have sex.
Sex is a joyful, beautiful thing, to live with spontaneity and cleanliness and not in a situation of squalor and abuse that will inevitably make you feel sick.
But if an adult touches you, harasses or abuses you you will feel dirty, those who abuse you want to make you feel guilty, will tell you that it was you who provoked it, they will justify their abuse.
If an adult touches you, harasses or abuses you, you must immediately report and NEVER THINK YOUR AND COLPA YOUR.
The people you know
Or if it’s your teacher talking to your parents, friends, relatives who abuse you or harass you.
If you don’t hear from them go to an anti-violence center, call the available numbers that will tell you what to do and where to go.
However, turn without a shadow of a doubt to adults you trust or who feel that they can help you with this problem.
If your father, uncle, brother, relative, abuse you or harass you, turn to a teacher, an anti-violence center, however, to adults outside the family contexts.
Contact other family members only if you see them really concerned about your well-being rather than family reputation/honour or stability in the eyes of the outside world.
Resources you need to call for advice that can help you:
- Italian anti-violence centers: (it is no longer working)
- Public Utility Number – Anti-Violence Woman: 1522
- Anti violence Woman: https://www.antiviolenzadonna.it/
- Blue Phone: http://www.azzurro.it/
Don’t let others dictate rules about your life like:
- the ways you dress,
- ways of how you look,
- or the ways of how you behave,
- or the ways of how you walk,
to avoid abuse.
It’s not up to you.
What happens is that unfortunately for that crappy you represent an object of desire and very often this crappy is within the walls of your home, among your friendships, at school, among your acquaintances, family friends or in any case in environments that you frequent daily and that you mistakenly perceive as “safe” places because you frequent them often compared to others you do not know.
You must know that violence:
- nestles among people of all cultures, nationalities and religions.
- there is never a distinction.
- which doesn’t depend on the color of the skin.
- and it doesn’t depend on the language you speak.
- Male is most often found in the family, among the people you know and use omertà and complicity to continue to exist.
ATTENTION!! You will surely find it difficult to report to be believed(o when you say you have been abused by Italian boys or men. Especially when you talk about people in your family who are commonly judged “respectable” or talk about other men in prestigious social roles.
Now you need to know that male violence with child sexual violence, child abuse, child molestation, etc. is often protected and tolerated in the family and among people from affluent social backgrounds, or more commonly the classic Italian family but you still have to break the wall of silence and trust one or more people who will help you and support you in carrying on, with you, this battle that you have to win.
Talk to someone about the harassment, violence, and abuse you’ve seen or suffered
Talk about it with your friends or friends, do not keep this burden inside, get help, create solidarity with your friendships.
Now if you are a mom, a dad, a teacher you have to be willing to go beyond appearances and protect victims of abuse regardless of who the executioner is, even if it is your husband, son, brother, friend, colleague, employer, you have a responsibility that must go further because you can not but protect people who suffer harassment and abuse of this kind for any reason.
Do not make you complicit with indifference and silence of sexual violence against children.
Organized territorial listening groups, landmarks in neighborhoods, courses in schools, to collect complaints and to become points of reference of girls who otherwise do not know who to turn to, each city, country, should have references.
Don’t let the victims be alone.
If victims of violence feel alone they will never have the courage to react and to denounce.
You are the first to show the courage to give protection to those who experience child sexual abuse because that person could also be your daughter or child and needs help.
Do you think what you would do if it was your daughter or your son?
Here you have to do the same thing.
Don’t ask yourself:
- why didn’t he immediately talk about what he suffered?.
- why don’t girls report it?.
THEY DO NOT DO IT BECAUSE THEY ARE AFRAID, AFRAID OF NOT BEING BELIEVED, AFRAID TO DISAPPOINT; FEAR OF A MULTITUDE OF THINGS AND YOU MUST BE THERE TO TURN THESE FEARS INTO COURAGE.
It is everyone’s responsibility to create the conditions in which kids like your daughter and child can find support to solve this problem and save their lives.
You must feel compelled to save the lives of girls, women, children who suffer unjust abuses of remnants regardless of the relationships of convenience that you can have with these blokes, from the polite exchange of indifference typical of our society in an apparent quiet living with acquaintances, neighbors, etc., or to the “complicity” between colleagues, to friendships that you do not want to question touch directly.
The life of these girls or boy in distress is more important than covering a human scum, do not remain indifferent, do not turn the other way because they need your help.
Whether you’re a parent, a coach, a trainer, a teacher, and you know of a colleague, relative, friend who harasses someone you have to export and make yourself an “enemy.”
You have to save hundreds of victims of child sexual violence that can arise over the years and in doubt you always have to believe her because it is essential first of all that the victim knows that she is believed.
Don’t leave anyone alone.. The fight against child sexual violence needs you.
I’m with you!!