How to help a mistreated woman

Contents

1 The effects of domestic violence on a abused woman can emerge in many different ways:

How to help a mistreated woman.

Domestic violence is unfortunately one of the most common phenomena and it is therefore useful that you know some suggestions to understand if this happens to people near you and how to help a abused woman:

Many abused women do not know who to turn to for help.

Never turn the other way, one day it could be you, your sister, a dear friend, etc. and your help is important, but you need to be prepared to face a situation of mistreatment to offer the appropriate kind of help.

There are several signs pointing to domestic violence, if you can recognize them it will help you identify abused women and better understand their experience in terrible drama and not underestimate any aspect.

Anyone who rapes women is a coward.

The effects of domestic violence on a abused woman can emerge in many different ways:

Visible physical injuries of a abused woman

Bruises, lacerations, burns, bites and fractures – especially in the eye, nose, teeth and jaws
Injuries during pregnancy, “spontaneous” abortions, premature births
Unexplained delay in seeking medical assistance for injuries
Multiple wounds at different stages of healing
Diseases that can arise in situations of mistreatment
Stress diseases such as headaches, back pain, chronic pain, gastrointestinal disorders, sleep disorders, eating disorders and fatigue
Conditions related to states of anxiety: such as heart palpitations, hyperventilation and panic attacks.
Less frequently: depression, thoughts and suicide attempts, alcohol use and other drugs

Effects on the workplace of a mistreated woman

Loss of productivity, chronic absenteeism or very frequent delays, excessive demands for leisure time
Raids and harassment at work by the abuser, in person or by phone
Frequent change of jobs in the woman’s work resume, or loss of previous jobs
Calls for help
For “couple” or “family” problems
For alcohol and drug addiction
For legal advice
For “mental health” issues, many requests for help actually mask domestic violence issues.How do I know if a woman is being abused?

The only way to know if a woman is being abused is TO CHIEDE.

It is not true that abused women do not want to talk about their situation. Many hide the mistreatment because they fear the companion; their psychophysical state has their defenses lowered because they fear repercussions, to feel uncomfortable, to be guilty or not to be believed.

To communicate your desire to help and support her, you can:

Ask her in a simple and direct way, IN PRIVATE,
Having a not judgmental attitude,
Don’t push her to do anything,
Don’t expect him to have suffered total FIDUCIA in you
If there are facts that have made you suspicious you can say:”I noticed that … and I worry about you. Can I do something to help you?” Or “It seems to me that you are under pressure and unhappy. If you need someone to talk to I’m always available, it will be a reserved thing between us.” He often hesitates to help a woman in distress because one gets the impression that “they are not my business”. This false idea has contributed greatly to building the isolation of women and to increasing the difficulties of providing help and support. If you decide to ask, be prepared to respond in a supportive manner. What to prepare to offer support. There are many things you can do to prepare to offer support, encouragement, and help to an abused woman.
Get ready on the topic of domestic violence, read, talk to counter-violence workers.
Start the conversation in private and when you have enough time to talk at length.
Abandon expectations of finding a “ready and fast” solution.
Strive to understand that women’s passivity can be their security strategy.
Check the correctness of your attitudes and opinions about mistreatment and if necessary change them. Abused women are not mistreated because of their lack of them. They are women trapped in coercive relationships due to the use of violence and control by their partners. Positive attitudes to provide support and encouragement.
Believe it. Tell him openly. If you know his partner he considers that many abusers behave in public in a very different way than they are in private.
Listen actively to her, ask her questions, but avoid making judgments and advice. She’s going to tell you what she needs.
Allied with its strong aspects. Based on the information it provides and your observations, you actively identify how it has developed strategies to manage the difficulty of the situation; how he solved problems and showed courage and determination, even if the efforts failed completely. Help her build on this strength.
Support your feelings. It is common for women in situations of mistreatment to have ambivalent feelings – love, fear, guilt and anger, hope and sadness. Tell her that what she feels is normal and reasonable.

Avoid blaming her. Tell her that mistreatment is not her fault. Reinforce the fact that mistreatment is the responsibility of the abuser and that it is against the law, avoid speaking ill of the abuser.
Take her fears seriously. If you’re worried about his safety, say without judgment, “Your situation looks dangerous and I’m worried about your safety.”
Offer to help her. If he asks you to do something you can and want to do, do it. If you can’t or don’t want to tell her and help her find other ways to deal with the need, maybe put her in touch with those who can actually help her in what she asks for.
Never tell a mistreated person to help them or do something and then portray it and you don’t, you’re giving it a coup de grace.
Use creativity to help women develop safety strategies. The key to security planning is to investigate the issue, consider all available possibilities and alternatives, assess risks and benefits and different opinions, and find ways to reduce risks. Offer ideas, information, and landmarks.
Support your decisions. Always remember that there are always risks associated with every decision made by an abused woman. If you really want to help her you have to be patient and have respect for her decisions, even if you don’t agree.