Get in the car with a stranger.
Would you ever get in a car with a stranger?
I’m sure not, because we all follow rules that we believe will keep us safe but these rules are always built taking into account certain scenarios.
Often you have heard me talk about scenarios and context analysis because they are fundamental!
When criminals or attackers change these scenarios and situations, your rules fall because you never imagined they were applicable to the exact or particular situation you’re facing
Remember that it strikes you and only surprises you what you do not know and that you do not expect!
I want to slowly take you to the context that breaks your rule by potentially making you an action that you always thought you didn’t have to do, the exception to your rule and it is precisely on this exception that the criminal acts to surprise you.
All that is not a good idea to get in a car of strangers and in your head you are even saying that you will never do it, however many people who have adhered to this rule have (and will), sometimes without consequences , other times with terrible consequences.
As I used to tell you when we create a rule, we frame it in a context, that is, your mind imagines a particular situation/situation.
When you create a rule like:
Never get into a stranger’s car
you do it by imagining a situation where we walk on the sidewalk and a car stops,
- a stranger lowering the window asks you if you want a ride or asks for information and that you enter so you tell her the way and he takes you in the direction you need or,
- you’re at the bus stop in the evening and a car stops and offers to take you home so much he goes in that direction
Of course you never will, but here’s an exception you might quite willingly get into a stranger’s car, if you’re with a friend/friend or if someone you know by sight stops and asks you or asks you (worse) if you want a ride.
The second error
Entering “spontaneously” into a stranger’s car if someone we trust as a boyfriend, friend, or friend who’s there with you says “that’s ok for both of you to do it”, you didn’t say anything, decided for you,but he’s someone you trust and we rarely question other people’s judgments about our safety, and yet you always have to do it.
Just because someone else knows or believes they know or believe they know this stranger doesn’t mean they’re not strangers to you and you have to do it.
Remember that criminals/predators are skilled manipulators and are very, very adept at making you believe that he is different and that there is no need to apply your rules with them.
We come to the typical case that I know you don’t tell anyone but that you’ve done many times and luckily everything went well.
Social meetings and chats
You write with a boy or a girl, or even boy and boy or girl and girl because today chats and social media are open to all tastes.
- You’re a homosexual guy you find a crazy man who hates homosexuals and gives you a date to beat you up, you arrive predisposed and happy and you trust because you have been talking for quite a while, you see yourself with him but instead you also find a group of crazy people who humiliate you or beat you by filming with your mobile phone.
- A criminal, maniac or other online, in chats, or on facebook gives you blind date and you like, things are going well, you have taken a coffee in relaxation and may suggest you go to the parking lot and get in the car that is cold that has to give you something
- or you are having dinner and that after the meal continue in a bar that knows with a drink and go with a single car, which makes more sense to take a car and that is a good driver, what music you like, I recommend fasten your belt and with a way of doing that makes you understand to be safe and responsible.
They might also add, don’t worry, nothing will happen, an unsostanded promise, who know that their date will be too polite to be questioned.
Is a person you chatted to who you’ve been dating for 2 hours still unknown?
I’d say yes, but rest assured that a maniac or a criminal would make you believe otherwise, that it’s not the time that matters.
A method used by rapists to circumvent your rule
How did I tell you to do something you wouldn’t want to act on your paradigm and since you wouldn’t get in a stranger’s car why not use yours?
So you get the maniac in your car and he’s going to give you the wrong directions, maybe pretending he’s lost until he leads you to a place he knows, isolated, and there’s the crime.
And then leave them, maybe take your car and your phone if it’s alive.
Or in the opposite case if you’re a man to lead you to a place where they wait for you to rip off your car and the rest and leave you there in your underwear and if it’s okay without filling you with a beating.
Another modus operandi of rapists to circumvent the rule was to have the woman drive alone in remote and isolated contexts and at that point.
- Bring it closer and brake as if to simulate an accident
- Stop at this isolated place and descend as if to say that perhaps you are lost
The criminal or criminals knew that this was a safe way to stop someone and get out of their vehicle;
I say criminals because the fake accident could also be provoked by accomplices!
Your default behavior that have always taught you when you come across a car accident is to stop, get out and inspect the damage.
This behavior that could be practically done later and in a more populated position, but that is not how we are programmed to act and that is where the error arises.
Or always linked to a simulated incident these criminals hit isolated streets to see if they pass single women and simulate an accident.
As mentioned your default behavior that have always taught you when you come across a car accident is to stop, exit and inspect the damage.
Once you get out of the car, obviously visibly and emotionally upset / sorry / etc., the manipulators offer you their support, they tell you sit in the passenger seat of their car to drink a glass of water and fill out the necessary documents.
What happens next is unfortunately too predictable and obvious, it was not an involuntary accident.
It’s not your fault
I’m sure all the victims of this particular sexual predator would have sworn that they would never get in a stranger’s car.
I also believe that all victims of violence or attempts at violence fortunately gone wrong imagined that their rule applied to a very different situation from the one they were in.
This is not to blame anyone for the mistake but to prove that the rules are ineffective in keeping us safe.
In an internship on women’s personal defense many girls participating quote me from articles (unfortunately trivial) or magazines that women’s magazines that publish a list of safety tips.
It usually happens after there has been a news story that has attracted the attention of the media (these are never the assaults that happen every day to women in their homes by the people they know: these complicated stories never make the front pages, although they are the most common and alarming).
Just as people who wish to avoid being victims read, inform themselves, etc., so do criminals who want to understand how they can get around these rules to gain access to new victims and also how if they are taken what to say to legally protect themselves and make you pass you as an easy woman.
If you want to stay safe, you have to stop taking the easy way and believe that your common sense will prevail.
Any rule you think you always respect over time, if you don’t consider other aspects you will break it and each predator will learn how to overcome changing the context.
Only if you learn how criminal individuals operate and work then will you be able to identify their processes and get away from them on time by recognizing them in advance.
Next time you say you’re never going to do something, try to think how many times in different contexts you’ve done it, breaking your rule.
Like “I would never get in a stranger’s car” or “I would never leave a stranger in my house”, I think of the situations and occasions that you would do, and that’s why I tell you that rules without context simply do not work to protect you.
Stay Tuned! Self Defence is not a game!
Street Fight Mentality & Fight Sport