Rapist, in the head of the sexual assault.
In the rapist’s head.
The psychological motivations common in cases of sexual violence!
We are talking about rape, one of the violence that continues to be present in all societies around the world and that deeply marks the victims of this type of violence.
If you follow the blog by now you will know that I am dedicating specific articles on the subject of women’s personal defense.
I am aware that this work is unfortunately not enough to change or stop gender-based assault or sexual violence but I hope in some way to help make the female world more aware by giving it tools that make life more complicated if not impossible for these stutters.
Although there is no justification for those who commit sexual violence, the motivations behind this despicable behaviour can be and are different.
Human behaviors are very varied and in some cases unpredictable!
The intimate space of the person
Since rape, murder aside, it is the most intrusive aggression of a person’smost intimate space, it is important not only the careful analysis of the personality and environment of the perpetrator of this crime, aspects on which criminal studies of a psychological, psychiatric and sociological nature have been based for many years, but also an in-depth study of the victim of sexual assault, with its characteristics and behaviors.
It is on these aspects that a technical study on women’s personal defense based on objective elements and not film fantasies can be based.
They’re the only things you can control, what you do.
Precisely to better understand the sad phenomenon was also born the discipline that takes the name of victimology,a branch of psychology and criminology that studies the relationship between victim and criminal and the psychological and social consequences on the people involved.
A discipline that has as its object the study of the victim of a crime, his personality, his biological, moral, social and cultural characteristics, his relationship with the criminal and the role he has assumed in the genesis of crime.
Based on the context it is also essential to analyze the dynamics of what happened, the places, the times, the events not only psychological, because there are certainly actions and attentions that if done limit the ability of many rapists to act.
Victimology studies the victim from three points of view:
There’s never a single reason why rapes happen and how they work.
The common psychological motivations of those who do sexual violence are linked to opportunity, emotional disorders, lust, and it happens for all these reasons or sometimes for none of them but anger is an element always present among all kinds of sexual assault.
5 profiles of sexual attackers that can be classified into four categories:
He’s not to be considered a lunatic, he’s got problems.
It’s a sneaky way used by people who usually know each other.
He doesn’t want to hurt you, several times during the rape, he makes sure that you’re okay, that you’re comfortable, that “what he’s doing to you” is to your liking.
When he’s done, as he walks away from above your body, he’s glad to have met you.
He, the compensator,at that moment is your dearest friend.
“God… it was the most exciting thing I’ve ever done. Are you okay? We should do it again, sometimes…”
Thinking you liked him, he even leaves you his phone number.
Over the next few days, try to get in touch to make sure you’re okay.
- It comes from families where both parents are present;
- He often lives at his parents’ house;
- He is not athletic and has a passive character;
- He has few friends and no sexual partners;
- He spends much of his time on pornographic sites;
- He does a modest job, but is considered a reliable worker;
- It shows a multiplicity of sexual deviations, including exhibitionism and voyeurism.
- She has low self-esteem, the purpose of rape is to increase it;
- It only uses the strength necessary to achieve it;
- He does not use weapons and takes trophies with which to reproduce, at home, the libido of experience;
- Rape is the expression of his fantasies;
- He speaks with kindness and cares about the physical well-being of the victim;
- He chooses victims of his own age, race, and who live nearby;
- He usually commits rapes at night, with an average cadence of 7-15 days between them;
- You can try to contact the victim later to make sure she’s okay, convinced she’s having fun;
- She keeps a diary in which she records the names and details of the rape;
- It will continue until it is stopped…
The appropriate reaction
In the face of rape, there is no appropriate reaction.
However, the compensator,is not a violent.
He’s a passive man, raping to feel more like a man.
In this case, a determined reaction of the victim can put him on the run.
In doubt, however, it is better to refrain from violence in order not to a provoke the rapist, causing an even more violent or lethal reaction.
The Rabid (IRA):
This profile of an aggressor is the cruellest.
Violence is a way to manifest and release intense feelings of anger, anger, contempt, hatred and frustration.
The assault is characterized by excessive brutality.
Much more physical force is used to commit the attack than would be necessary to simply overpower and subdue the victim.
Sexual assault for this category of rapists appears more like an impulsive thing than a premeditated thing.
Quite often the urge to commit such acts can be determined by the problematic relationship with a prominent woman in the life of the aggressor (his mother, his wife, his girlfriend, or always be rejected).
The resulting anger that is released and discharged through a sexual assault against a victim who may not be the actual person against whom he harbors such feelings.
Sex becomes like a weapon and rape is the means by which he can harm, demean and degrade his victim and, through it, the actual person to be struck.
Contentment and relief come from the discharge of anger rather than actual sexual pleasure.
Ugly cursed. Here, take this! Do you feel it, eh, do you feel it?!”
- It has a problematic family situation;
- He was usually raised by a single parent and, because of his relationship experiences with this reference figure, developed feelings of hostility towards women in general;
- He considers himself vigorous and manly, often devoting himself to sports activities that involve physical contact;
- He can be married and is usually not aggressive towards his partner;
- He has several extramarital affairs;
- He has a violent temperament and is prone to action.
- He tends to commit rape in his own area;
- Attacks are sudden and unplanned;
- The primary purpose and do wrong;
- He humiliates and degrades the victim, insults her, rips off his clothes and punches her;
- After he has subdued the victim, the degradation is intended to increase his excitement and instill terror in the victim;
- The rapist feels the need to manifest his anger in many ways, for example he can rape the victim anally and then force her to practice oral intercourse to eventually come to her face;
- Look for women of race and age similar to yours or older;
- After the rape he does not try to contact the victim;
- The interval, between rapes, is typically six months or a year.
The appropriate reaction
A determined or violent reaction on the part of the victim can only help him.
Even staying inert is not a good idea.
Rape can only end badly.
We are not only talking about sexual violence, which would already be enough, but a long prognosis because of beatings, or even death.
If you can, you have to take advantage of every opportunity to escape.
He uses the strength to overpower his victim and control her.
The aggressor places the victim (through verbal threats, intimidation with a weapon or with physical force), in a situation where he cannot refuse or resist, and this gives him a reassuring feeling of power, security, strength, authority and control.
In this way he compensates for basic feelings of incapacity, vulnerability, weakness and helplessness.
Sexual violence committed during wars generally falls into this category.
The attack is usually premeditated and preceded by an obsessive fantasy in which, although the victim may initially resist, once overwhelmed, he will submit gratefully.
The authoritarian aggressor could in fact choose a victim of a remissive type.
“Stop whining and suck, slut. That’s good. Now, turn around. The beauty comes now.”
- He grew up in single-parent families or foster families;
- He often suffered abuse in childhood;
- He has domestic problems and may have had an unhappy marriage;
- He is a narcissist;
- She seeks confirmation of her macho image, attends single clubs, speaks loudly and has a boisterous demeanor;
- Drive a sports car, try to give a successful image;
- He does jobs purely associated with masculinity, such as in the police or the army, or in the construction industry;
- He can wear a uniform of some kind to reinforce his perception of manhood.
- Grabs and picks up the unsuspecting victim;
- The attack is a mix of physical and verbal violence, if the victim reacts increases the violence to overwhelm it;
- He can rape the same victim on several occasions;
- Rape the woman especially vaginally;
- It may suffer from delayed ejaculation and much like oral sex;
- He chooses victims mainly of the same age or younger;
- Sex is a predatory and impulsive act;
- The primary motivation is to exercise power by “hunting”;
- The interval between rapes is usually 20-25 days;
- It forces the woman to a cooperative attitude;
- The level of violence increases with time and with rape;
- He carries a weapon with which to threaten the woman;
- He does not hide his identity, he feels safe, he thinks that by terrorizing the victim this will not speak;
- He doesn’t feel remorse, he doesn’t collect trophies, he doesn’t write diaries.
Repeating the concept that there are no appropriate ways in the face of rape and that the limit of categories is to disregard the variables, however, in this case, a remissive and collaborative attitude can save the victim and reduce the level of violence.
You’re going to sue him after…
It erodes aggression through sexual violence.
The aggressor receives satisfaction and pleasure from the abuse of his victim.
His attack is deliberate, premeditated and calculated.
For this type of aggressor, anger and domination are sexualized in relation to the intense gratification he obtains from dominating, offending, harming and demeaning his victim.
“Ssh, fear not, honey, I won’t hurt you. I promise. Would you mind holding your hand? Quiet, quiet… everything will be fine. That’s good. Now, which finger do you prefer to start with?”
- Most grew up in single-parent families (one parent only);
- Most have suffered repeated abuse in childhood;
- A large number of them manifested a number of sexual deviations in adolescence;
- As an adult, the sadist, is married and is considered a good father of the family;
- He often lives in a bourgeois residential area, has a higher-than-average education and works as a clerical worker;
- It shows a compulsive personality and is always very orderly;
- He is intelligent and has no criminal record;
- He plans, never comes out of the confines of the plan and often manages to get away with it.
- Along with rape, she wants to send a message;
- The goal is to cause the highest possible level of pain;
- If he is not captured, sooner or later he will kill;
- It moves in the car;
- He carefully chooses the victim, controls the area, makes sure that everything goes according to plan;
- He likes to move far away from home;
- To more terrorize the victim, use gags, duct tape and other tools of the “Kit of the perfect rapist”;
- Before putting it into action, the sadist enjoys telling what he will do to her;
- It is ritualistic;
- He tries to communicate with the victim to make her say things that increase his libido;
- He often forces the woman into oral sex before raping her;
- It may suffer from delayed ejaculation;
- The more he commits, the more sophisticated he becomes;
- You can use drugs;
- He often becomes a serial killer.
Run away or kill him.
In your head you just have to think run away or:
Kill the rapist! then kill the rapist! or Kill the rapist! and Kill the rapist! then kill the rapist again! and Kill the rapist! then kill the rapist again! and Kill the rapist! kill the rapist again! Kill the rapist! and Kill the rapist!
You’ll think about the rest later.
Probably the most common reason for sexual assault is the possibility.
Frequently such assaults are carried out during the perpetration of another crime (e.g., a theft, a robbery, etc.).
Ps. These categories are just a somewhat simplistic attempt by scholars to bring different behaviors back into categories that are easier to manage. As with each category, the subject may deviate from the described behavior, there may be in the list of characteristics of variables not taken into account, or the same individual may fall into more than one category.
The appropriate reaction – Inserted according to the profile, it must be taken with due care.
It is almost impossible to recognize the type of rapist during a rape and a misjudgment by the victim can have serious, dramatic consequences.
Unlike in the past, where women were advised to react violently (female self-defense groups were often deluded by people), or even before that it was recommended to remain inert and wait for the rapist to finish, Today it is recommended to escape and to use a limited level of violence and aimed at distracting the rapist the time it takes to escape away.
The contextualization of the reaction
Every reaction must be contextualized, on a case-by-case basis, but it is very much related to your real ability to react, to the context, to the presence of weapons, and to the possibility that it can be born or that needs to be created, but the reaction needs training that can not be done with the course of Sunday and with highly qualified people.
No one should afford to sell courses by deluding people because it means you’re endangering people!
Unfortunately, there are no valid suggestions that can be given in these cases, except one:
In fact, a large percentage of victims, who are dangerously close to almost all rapes, never report the assault, even though they know their identity.
In this way, give them the right to continue, so they will never get caught, endangering other women. Don’t do it just for you!
Tactics used by rapists:
The ritual of sexual assault, in principle, can be divided into 5 steps:
- VICTIM SELECTION – The victim is selected based on the attacker’s motives. It can be pre-selected or simply occasional. In either case, the attacker will wait for the potential victim to be VULNERABLE and/or ISOLATE.
- APPROCCIO – The approach is to approach the victim and consists of three steps:
- Inducing the victim to accompany the aggressor.
- Surprising the victim.
- Overpowering and assaulting the victim.
- START OF AGGRESSION – The attacker maintains control of the victim through mere presence, threats or physical force.
- SEXUAL VIOLENCE – Performing sexual violence
- THE RELEASE – It is during this phase that the aggressor decides whether to further punish the victim physically or kill her.
Options for the victim during an assault
During an assault, the victim can choose from a range of behaviors to adopt.
Studies have looked at the defensive behaviours of victims of sexual violence, strategies to be put in place to prevent rape and the behaviour of victims that are a sign of the vulnerability of the victims.
The analysis of the different reaction strategies drawn from the literature, combined with the clinical experience of scholars with perpetrators who confessed and rape victims, has allowed to define a type of response strategies.
In relation to what action to take, the victim must take into account the type of rapist, circumstances, environmental conditions, the situation in general and their personal abilities and choose one (or more than one) of the following alternatives:
Escape, in the case of an assault, remains the best answer when it can be used successfully.
It is obvious that, if the victim is alone, in an isolated place with no escape, or when she is attacked by multiple attackers, trying to escape could not be successful, indeed it would be very risky.
The likelihood of running away can also decrease if you are confronted by a young and athletic attacker.
However, in the event that the victim is in an urban area, there are no weapons, or there are other people nearby and there are no other types of impediments such as slurs of limbs, the chances of success of the escape grow very much.
However, it is always important that caution should be used, since for a good percentage of attackers, an attempt to escape from the victim would only serve to increase the aggressiveness of the aggression.
Verbally confrontational resistence
A strategy of screaming and venting one’s anger in order to draw attention to itself (e.g. “let me go” or ” goaway“).
The intent of these attitudes is to send, at the beginning of the aggression, the message that the victim has no intention of being submissive to his attacker.
Physical contingetive resistence
Physical endurance ranges from moderate responses (wriggling, debating), to even very violent responses (hit with force and violence vulnerable parts of the aggressor such as, face, throat, genitals with intentions to injure or even kill him).
They are reactions dictated by the context and critical factors such as the place of aggression, the presence of a weapon, the likelihood of being helped, the physical size and strength of the aggressor and the degree of violence of aggression.
However, the victim should expect that in many cases his physical stamina may have an increase in the violence of aggression in response.
Non-confrontational verbal responses
These answers are intended to dissuade the aggressor (e.g. “I’m a virgin,” or “I have menstruation“), eliciting empathy (by entertaining his attention by conversing with him, listening to him and trying to respond by being sincere), be honest (“I’m scared“) or negotiate (“let’s talk about it”or “let’s have a beer“) in order to take time and devise the right strategy to escape.
Although discussing with the aggressor can be a useful tool to reduce the degree of violence of aggression, it is not effective in ending it completely.
Unfortunately, during the excitement of sexual assault most rapists do not care at all about the needs and physical state of their victim (for example, that he has menstruation).
The important thing is that the victim avoids references such as “I have AIDS“, or ” I ampregnant” as well as statements that could encourage the victim’s pathological fantasy that the victim is “bad” or that he has promiscuous habits and consequently is worthy of rape.
The surest way to engage the aggressor in a dialogue is to appeal to his humanity by being extremely sincere and focusing on the immediate situation (e.g. “I’m a total stranger. Why do you want to hurt me? I didn’t do anything to hurt you.“).
Nonconfrontative physical resistence
This technique means to make an active resistance that does not directly involve the aggressor (as in the case of the Physical Opposing Resistance).
These resistance techniques can be simulated or completely real, spontaneous and uncontrollable.
Simulated reactions can include, for example, fainting, muteness, epilepsy, or apoplectic attacks.
Involuntary and real ones include crying, muteness, nausea and loss of sphinter control.
These reactions may offer an opportunity to the victim, but they are highly subjective and are not reliable.
Submission does not imply an offensive or defensive reaction to prevent aggression.
It is often the result of paralysis caused by fear, terror or the belief that such reactions serve to save the victim’s life.
In most cases, however, submission serves only as a last resort when any attempt to stop the aggression has failed.
Submission could, however, be interpreted by the attacker as a kind of victim participation and consequently increase the intensity of the aggression.
In general, the decision to resign or submit to the aggressor is determined by the violence of the aggression itself, or by the emotional state of the victim or by the specific fear (such as rape or death).
Many women are able to fight even with the knowledge that they will have to give in, others accept and feel comfortable with any action they believe is necessary to survive aggression with the minimum of physical and mental damage.
If previous strategies to avoid aggression have failed, submission is considered the best strategy to save one’s life and to minimize physical harm in a situation such as sexual assault, but it is important that the victim is quiet in this choice and at the same time is aware that the guilt following the assault will probably manifest itself.
How to deal with sexual assault
One thing you need to know is that an aggression generates another aggression, scholars and experts on the subject know that this is what happens and extensive case studies and behavioral studies demonstrate this.
When anger and aggression go beyond what is necessary to have the victim’s submission, a violent reaction of confrontation with the aggressor only generates a further increase in violence in aggression and this can put the victim in a situation of risk for serious physical harm if the reaction does not put out psychological or physical combat of the aggressor.
The rapist is usually convinced that he has every sexual right over the victim, and will use all the physical force necessary to obtain the submission of the victim; The physical confrontation reaction with the aggressor in these cases can be reckless unless the victim is sure to knock out the attacker.
Initially the best strategy seems to be to encourage the rapist to start talking about himself by leveraging his narcissism to make the victim appear in his head as a real person rather than a sexualized object.
The choice of strategy of confrontation with the aggressor
Non-confrontational physical strategies can sometimes work but tend to be often ineffective being highly unpleasant and disliked to the individual rapist, it depends a lot on who the aggressor is.
Some of these reactions are spontaneous and involuntary, instinctive, such as trying to speak or responding physically by reacting violently, but it would be appropriate for the victim to be able to master such reactions in case they worsen the situation or to find the right time to explode a violent reaction.
Unfortunately, those who work in training related to women’s personal defense know that it is very complicated in those moments to be able to think, because the surprise effect and the high level of stress does not allow to have the lucidity to reason by making instinct prevail.
If the victim is unable to establish a conversation with his attacker and the aggression continues, increases or even appears to be insane, with a murderous violence, the victim must try to fight by all means available (hit the eyes and genitals of the attacker, or hit him with a blunt object, etc.).
If the attacker stays there you must react immediately
Now if the attacker remains after the verbal confrontation, is not armed and responds with threats or retaliation, the victim must immediately oppose physical resistance by beating him with every means and tool available (kicks and punches, objects, etc.).
If the aggressor’s response to your defensive reaction is an increase in anger and violence then it is appropriate for the victim to stop physically resisting.
The recommended reaction with rapists is “in words” i.e. verbal,and words should be used to convince the aggressor that the victim is not the person he hated (e.g. “I think you’re really mad at someone, but it can’t be me. We’ve never met before.“).
Instead, it must avoid statements that could justify,in the rapist’s mind, aggression because it is always dangerous to provoke the imagination of these men.
Are there no alternatives?
If it seems that there are no safe and effective answers to get out of that situation, the victim must try to do the necessary things to be able to get out of the situation such as pretending to participate in the aggression and, at the critical moment, act by surprise and hit the aggressor in vulnerable parts with as much nastiness as possible.
Trying to create an opportunity where you can strike and hurt effectively can be a good solution and it is a time that can be useful and necessary for the victim to process and turn fear into anger and a sense of helplessness in the fight for survival.
Unfortunately, most of the recommendations made to potential victims in times of panic are very likely to be forgotten, techniques, strategies, etc. because when the victim is faced with the potential rapist, there is no training or training that can guarantee you to make yourself lucid and effective at such a high time of stress.
The victim at that time may lose his head or not have the time to assess the different reactions to be put in place.
Surely training can help you, but no simulation can get you to feel the feeling of stress and fear of a real aggression and it is better never to find out if it is possible.
The strategies expressed can be summarized as follows:
1) Try to establish a verbal relationship with the aggressor; if it doesn’t work — >
2) The victim must immediately take the offensive and attack the attacker with moderate physical aggression (kicks, punches); if it doesn’t work — >
3) Try to calm the attacker’s anger by engaging him in a conversation and making himself believable to his eyes; away from him the fantasy that you are a person to whom he wants to harm. Prepare the situation for an escape attempt, telling him for example “let’s have a drink”; if it doesn’t work — >
4) Use violent confrontation and conduct each action exclusively with the means at your disposal (kicks, punches, bites, hit with stick or stone) to render the aggressor incapacitated and avoid rape or possible physical injuries sometimes even fatal.
Rape, when real, is one of the most humiliating and degrading violations that exists!.
This subject is very complex and really requires a certain level of prudence because unfortunately they are very sensitive topics and that unfortunately the statistics confirm that it is a very widespread and often even unreported form of violence.
I hope it can be useful to you without ever really caring.
Street Fight Mentality